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        Allgemein >> Diskussion >> What kind of D&B Dj are you?
        
(Thema begonnen von: JarmenKell am 25.05.2004 um 08:34:30)

Titel: What kind of D&B Dj are you?
Beitrag von JarmenKell am 25.05.2004 um 08:34:30

· you're the techy filler dj. your favorite label is dsci4, 1210 recordings, and C4C recordings. this worse than a clownstep dj because a filler dj is very basic and has no character. you think if you play something techy people will think you're futuristic. you constantly trainwreck because you have only been a dj for several months and those ticks and beeps f**k you up.

· you're the edit/breaks dj. no ones ever heard of your favorite lables because they're so new and cutting edge! you think you're highly intelligent because you play tunes with crazy drumwork. your audience also thinks that you're intelligent and they're super coordinated because they can dance out of rhythm and pass it off as "polyrhythmic."

· you're the dubplate dj. a label? what's that? you hardly ever carry records but always have your CD book full of unreleased material. you don't care wether it's quality music or not because you know having dubs makes you elite. besides your friends would be uber pissed and highly insulted if you didn't rinse them. you also nuts in your pants when your new white label bootleg comes in the mail.

· i'm a super elite badass producer. all my tracks were made by me and my friends (off of AIM) who write tracks too. I'm better than dubplate dj's because I use Final Scratch (cause I'm poor and can't afford acetate). All my tracks are awesome except the mastering job.

· you're the clownstep dj. you hate music with a soul. your favorite lables include Valve, True Playaz, CIA, Ram, Formation, and Full Cycle. clownstep is your favorite because you grew up liking happy hardcore, and copious ammounts of drugs. you think clownstep is "dancefloor" friendly but the truth is everyone on the floor is so f**ked up they wouldn't know if the headliner was on and you LOVE MC's esp. Shabba.

· You're the dubby dj, anything with a subbass you think is reggae-influenced. You have never heard any real reggae or dub. youre smoking spliffs all day and you are growing dreads even if youre still bald! Any question you dont know the answer to is answered with "raaaassssssss bumpaclot!!!!" Digital and Spirit are your gods and if a tune has a delay longer than a few seconds you're buying it.

· You are the mixmaster dj. You got the same haircut as Andy C for 5 quid at the barber round the corner. You buy all the big tunes Andy plays in 3 fold. You have 15 technics decks at home and practice double and triple drops like Andy's all day. When playing live you trainwreck everything but your mates know you have the skills. You cut and chop, drop, wheel up, chop and cut again and none of it is making ANY sense. Any dj playing less than 35 tunes an hour is wack. One day you will be just as big as Andy is.

· youre the DRUM AND BASS dj... all your tunes have a fast [170+] breakbeat over a halftime bassline. you couldnt give a nutse about labels because all of the ones you put your faith n went nuts and started to release baron remixes etc. still, if you were forced to pick a favourite label you'd say bassbin, reinforced eastside or commercial suicide at a push. you realise the source of drum and bass' mythical strength is variety and rapid change of moods. so you buy everything from raiden to digital to calibre to fanu to klute to teebee to matrix to breakage and back because you know that depth and maturity comes from having a varied selection. you dont iunderstand how someone can only play one style ort limit themselves to one corner of the most versatile music there is.

· You are the "4/4 refugee" DJ..
You started to DJ drum and bass around 2001 after the 4/4 clubs you used to love got ruined by 16 year old 'crasher kids and you got the f**k out. You never bought any dnb back then because you spent all your cash on d.a.v.e the drummer tunes. You buy records because the b-side is in f# @175bpm and u know u can key mix it with temple of doom and prozac. You mix clownstep like its techno, with little or no regard for purist attitudes. You are safe as f**k.

Titel: Re: What kind of D&B Dj are you?
Beitrag von JarmenKell am 25.05.2004 um 08:37:10

· you're a DOA freak who spends his days asking cute questions like: "today i've got more hair down there than i had yesterday. has that happened to you?".

when your not chasing promos to make a new 'this months mixtape' you're thinking seriously about changing your screen name 'cos everyone else's is so much cooler. come to think of it, you're only here because the climate of army inspired homo-eroticism is so much safer than hanging out at the mall where pretty girls mercilessly take the piss. you're thinking they wouldn't be laughing if you played them 'the nine' - "proper-nasty" or "mad-sick" - depending on which side of the pond you decide you'll hail from today. you love the fact that everyone here thinks drum’ n’ bass/jungle should be owed by the americans and every hip-hop reference only confirms your suspicions. it doesn't worry you that all the big dawgs are middle-aged, hairy males with asthma - they're really good role-models for ghetto living you tell yourself. just so long as no-one says the dreaded "p" word; you'll be fine.

· You are the midwestern BFE elitist dick. You think Audio's "Jungle Demon" had the best label art cuz it looked all hard and evil and on fire and nuts. You think Hive went soft with Bring it on. Any tune you did not purchase for your bag personally is weak ass pansy jungle. You prefer releases by Swedish producers who cannot be named for fear of breaking the spell which keeps them on this plane and live in caves. You have 20 sided dice in your record bag.

· You Are "The Collector" - You have spent a small fortune for the last 8 years amassing what most would call a truly vast, ranged, varied, sizable collection of Quality Wax since '96
Making it all the more tragic and profound that you cant mix to save your eternal soul. On a good day you might be able to squeeze three or four tracks together without sounding like shoes in the dryer but on the most part your sets are like two kamikaze bullet trains heading straight for one another from your first drop.

· you're a liquid funk dj - you buy the latest soulful/jazzy dnb records and think that drum'n'bass is the most hip new music on the block. the only jungle you've ever witnessed is when you partied to house music in the brazilian riviera. your parents own every kenny g record there is. you think that you have every single girl in your pants while playing your set and go home disappointed when they have their last drink, say "thank you" for a good time and wave goodbye

· you're an atmospheric dj - you're a super nice guy. you scored a 0 on an not a very nice person test with a minimum score of 20. you go to arizona for vacation twice a year. your parents attended the woodstock twice. In 1969 and 1994. In 1994 they took you with them. swooshes and sweeps make you orgasm quicker than jessica alba. you consider anything with a bassline heavy metal. you blush when people say you're good looking.

· You are the "promosexual" / and or "donnabe” - You carry with you to all gigs an automated vinyl cutter mount on your Technics hooked to a satellite wireless LAN. When tunes are complete, they are pressed to wax while on the incoming track B deck while a preprogrammed bot posts as you on DOA about your selection.

Any white labels you have are unmarked and guarded by a team of ex Black Beret operatives. Train spotters are given access to a courtesy phone and the producer's number when they ask what the track name is.

You are telepathically linked to the Redeye database. Tunes that have finished playing are fed into an industrial shredder marked "too old" or "that is just SOOO three records ago"

Habsch grad im Future-Forum gfunde!
Auf jeden Fall n paar Lacher wert

Titel: Re: What kind of D&B Dj are you?
Beitrag von Y.T am 26.05.2004 um 16:46:12

hehehe.....hab ich ooch jelesen! nice1 ;D

ich würd ja auch gerne nochma wissen wer das im orig. geposted hat?

ma unter uns ich glaub ich bin nen collector --outing-- ::) :-[

Titel: Re: What kind of D&B Dj are you?
Beitrag von JarmenKell am 26.05.2004 um 16:53:57

Hey, dafür hast du die fettesten Tunes am Start ;D

Ehrlich gesagt weiß ich nicht so recht...

Ich bin eher sone Mischklasse glaub ich :D
Kann mich auf jeden Fall immer nur partiell zu einer Art zuordnen...

Wobei, manche der Styles kann man sich ja leider nicht aussuchen -> *aufduplate-djlins*

Titel: Re: What kind of D&B Dj are you?
Beitrag von Y.T am 26.05.2004 um 17:05:52

yes leider wahr, aber man kann ja auch selber choons basteln....dann sans wia auch dabplatte deejoots ;D

aber ich sach nur " shoes in the dryer " *lööl*

Titel: Re: What kind of D&B Dj are you?
Beitrag von JarmenKell am 27.05.2004 um 14:42:06

on 05/26/04 um 17:05:52, Y.T wrote:

aber ich sach nur " shoes in the dryer " *lööl*

da sach ich nur: "Planlosigkeit" :-[

Titel: Re: What kind of D&B Dj are you?
Beitrag von Y.T am 27.05.2004 um 19:05:31

deäs hier meint ich....

"On a good day you might be able to squeeze three or four tracks together without sounding like shoes in the dryer but on the most part your sets are like two kamikaze bullet trains heading straight for one another from your first drop."

shoes in the dryer = schon mal nen paar boten im trockner getrocknet? :P dat is doch erst der real stomping boot beat. aber im endeffekt mein ich wohl mangel an synchronisations talent beizeiten....

Titel: Re: What kind of D&B Dj are you?
Beitrag von JarmenKell am 28.05.2004 um 08:36:43

KNONK!!

Man, man! Manchmal weiß ich auch nicht so recht, wo ich meinen Kopf gelassen hab...

Muß ich gleich mal wieder nachschauen, ob er grad inner Nähe is...